Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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