oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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