Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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