Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
