i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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