dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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