I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
