you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
