the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
