you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
