I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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