Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
the liver wants what the liver wants
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
