I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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