she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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