hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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