Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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