so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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