dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
