walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
that's an acceptable place to lick
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
