so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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