I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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