did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
