This girl is more easily done than said...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
