I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
