My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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