Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...

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(856): View more from New Jersey

2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.

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(315): View more from New York

Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.

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(530): View more from California

Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection

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(469): View more from Texas

How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?

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(517): View more from Michigan

CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming

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