got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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