Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
