Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
