It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am available for nakedness
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
