More tranny stories later!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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