I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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