so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
