i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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