we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
