that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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