Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
