My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
