idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
