He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We are two peas in an std pod
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
