Say something about gay babies.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
