If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
