Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
