apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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