He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
