Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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