For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
