I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
