god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
