fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
