If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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